fertility coaching & therapy
When having a baby
is not a given
Support when you are dealing with fertility issues, miscarriage, or unwanted childlessness
That rollercoaster of hope and sorrow; cycle after cycle. If only it would end.
The longing to have a baby of your own is strong. But that’s exactly the one thing you have absolutely no control over.
In the meantime, you can feel that unfulfilled wish growing stronger. It affects your life, your relationships, your work. But also the relationship you have with yourself and your body, your self-worth, and your dreams for the future.
And no, it’s not like you’re in a state all the time. You are very equipped at juggling all the things. But it’s not a walk in the park either. And you cannot imagine carrying on like this.
What if you were to take a step back. Can you take me into your inner world?
Do you feel free? Free in jour body, free to feel what wants to be felt? How is it to not be in control? To keep piling on the grief? And: how hard are you on yourself, really?
Life could be a little lighter
Calmer, Softer
More room to breathe
And I’m not talking about ‘positive thoughts only’, this goes deeper
Because you’re already quite familiar with the whole mindset thing. And yet you’re stuck. You feel no control over getting pregnant, even though you are doing all you can. It is deeply unfair.
You see yourself doing the things you thought you were done with. Old wounds, thoughts and patterns; everything feels magnified.
This is your invitation to (re)connect with yourself and remain by your own side. Whatever the future holds. An invitation to feel everything that wants to be felt. To accept what you cannot change. And to face what is calling for your attention right now. Peace and trust is waiting on the other side of this.
“You don’t have to do it alone.”
Everything is welcome. I know firsthand how little room there is for the mental, emotional and even spiritual side of an unfulfilled desire to become a mother.
With all the stress that comes with it, and the unseen loss, the stacked grief, that enormous comeback from your inner critic and a lot of old pain. You just have to figure it out all by yourself.
I want to change all that. During my own fertility treatment I decided I didn’t want to live my life in standby mode whilst waiting to conceive (or not). So I dove into the world of mindfulness, coaching & psychology. And I started working as a coach with changemakers and creatives.
A few years after the birth of my son, I also started working as a fertility coach. Since 2020 I work with women (and couples) who are dealing with fertility issues, miscarriage and unwanted childlessness to support them in their process.
Together, we’ll catch all the balls you’ve been juggling for such a long time. One by one. So you can find some peace within yourself again.
Working with me will reach deeper than traditional coaching
Hello! I’m Susanne. Mother of a son, conceived after a journey of IVF and IUI. That was some time ago. Despite my longing to have a second child, we will remain a family of three. I run a practice as a coach and therapist (in training) in Amsterdam Old-West.
As a fertility coach I’m trained in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy (mindfulness and self compassion) and as an Integrative coach. In addition, I have studied grief processing and visualization constellations.
At the moment I’m studying a.o. hypnotherapy, systemic work (familiy constellations), somatic therapy and inner child work. During my training to become a psychodynamic therapist I learn how to combine these techniques. So your process matches your needs.
Because no fertility journey, no woman is the same; you are my main focus. And whatever arises during the sessions, we can work with that*.
*please be aware that this does not apply if you have an active depression or PTSD, or if you are seeking help for another issue that actually requires specialized mental health care.
The women who come to me, know there’s no one-size-fits-all solution
They are looking for more peace in the midst of that storm, and want to feel more acceptance for the situation as is. They are brave in coming to do the necessary inner work. To look beyond the standard stress-reducing activities. Because if it really was all that logical, they could just do it by themselves.
They have a huge drive to get through this. And at the same time, they realise that this is precisely where they can show a bit more compassion for themselves. Instead of all that hard work, of being so strict with themselves, of ‘never being quite good enough.’
On their way to the peace and trust that you experience when you are true to yourself. Even in hard times.
Exactly what you need
Sometimes just a few sessions are enough, sometimes I will walk alongside you for a longer while. No situation is the same, and thats’s why every process is tailor made. You will get all the time and guidance you need.
Regulair sessions are 60-75 minutes and cost 95,- euro.
Farewell rituals and partner sessions are 90 minutes and cost 135,- euro.
Topics you can come to me for (just to give you an idea)
◌ Fertility issues – When having a baby is not a given
◌ Miscarriage – If it were up to you, everything would just go back to before it all went wrong
◌ Partnersessions – To reconnect, to align, or to process it all together
◌ Second or third child – You would love to have another baby, but it doesn’t come naturally
◌ Stopping your fertility treatment – Your most difficult descision yet: ‘How are you going to do this?’
◌ Unwanted childlessness– If you’re not becoming a mother, who will you be then?
◌ Pregnancy after a fertility treatment or miscarriage – Being pregnant is no longer carefree
Frequently asked questions
BOVENSTE - niet weghalen
I’m not undergoing fertility treatment, but I do have an (unfulfilled) desire to have a baby. Can I still book sessions with you?
Of course. You are always welcome if you need support in your journey. Regardless of the path you are on.
I’m single and have consciously decided to go through the process (or am already on this path) to become a mother on my own. Can I also seek your support?
Of course! There are more women who go through this process as a single mom. Aside from regular coaching, I have an understandig ear, and can support you in preparing appointments or be a sparring partner for difficult decisions.
The only thing I don’t do is give advise. But I will guide you through different points of view and support your process.
Are your sessions covered by the insurance?
No they are not. Som employers will allow you to use you individual development budget for the sessions.
I’m on the waiting list for regular mental health care. Can I seek your support in the meantime?
It all depends on the reason you are currently on the waiting list. If you’re dealing with a burnout or bore-out, I can certainly help. However, if you are experiencing conditions such as depression, PTSD, traumatic grief disorder, an anxiety or personality disorder, I am neither authorized nor qualified to provide the appropriate support.
If you’re really eager to work with me and are unsure if it’s possible, feel free to contact me.
What will happen with the sessions when I become pregnant?
That’s totally up to you, and you can make a decision about it when it happens.
Some women choose to do a few more sessions. The first month of a pregnancy after fertility threatment, or a long journey to get pregnant, can be heavy. Built up tension and stacked grief often play a part in this.
Other women quit the sessions the enjoy their pregancy.
I want to stop my fertility treatment, but I’m finding it difficult. Can I seek your help for this?
Sure. I regularly see women who are debating whether to continue or quit for example IVF or ICSI. They are working on making a heart felt decision, and – if they want to quit – ending their treatment in a way that works for them.
I see that you are still in training to become a psychodynamic therapist. Do you offer therapy?
My session go deeper than traditional coaching. Part of this is my training in Mindfulness Based Cognitive Therapy that is used in much more than future-oriented coaching.
At the moment, my training to become a therapist enriches my body-oriented approach, as well as working with hypnotherapy, family constellations and inner child work.
Before we start, we will have a call to discuss your needs. This way I can asses whether I’m the right person to help you. If not, I will be very honest. I will then refer you to one of the other great therapists in my network.
You are really not on your own in this, but nobody really talks about it
“I wasn’t pregnant, didn’t have a child, and still I felt like a mom.“
– Susanne
Having trouble conceiving (and/ or staying pregnant) is one of the biggest taboos of our time. One in six couples face fertility issues, in the broadest sense of the word. Just think about it: that’s at least four people from your old class in elementary school. But also every 6th house on your street, every 6th car in traffic, or every 6th person in the line at the supermarket. Yet, hardly no one talks about it.
And that’s actually not that surprising: an (unfulfilled) longing to have a baby of your own isn’t just about ‘health’ and the medical merry-go-round that goes with it. It’s also about how you see yourself, your relationship with your partner, and your dreams for the future. Just to name a few.
It’s also a process of letting go, on many levels. From the romantic notion of getting pregnant together (in a natural way) to the literal goodbye for the child or children who couldn’t stay. And perhaps even to the children who will never be born.
Meanwhile, the whole world seems to have an opinion about it. ‘You’re too early, you’re too late. You need to do more of this and less of that. Is it happening yet? Surely you’re not…’
Is it any wonder that the stress, the grief, and frustration only keep piling up? I don’t think so.
My wish for you is to have more compassion towards yourself.
So you can experience more peace and trust in this difficult time. Some quiet in the midst of the storm, more acceptance for the situation as is, more love for yourself. And you don’t have to do this all alone. Please feel free to leave a message, and I’ll get in touch to see if I’m the right person to help.
Love, Susanne